Threads and Tales by Sofia: The Unsaid Rules of Nightlife for Women

By Sofia Lamdichi | October 27, 2025

Photo Credit: Kyle Nishioka | Wikimedia Commons

The nightlife scene as a college student is often depicted as a rite of passage, an experience that is not only expected but considered essential to the collegiate experience. For many, it is imagined as an exciting world of parties, clubs and endless opportunities for socializing and fun. 

Women are frequently told that these experiences are theirs for the taking, that the doors to nightlife are wide open. However, beneath this surface-level narrative lies a complex undercurrent of demands and unspoken rules that govern who is included and who is left out. Especially for women, entry into these spaces often comes with a cost that is rarely discussed: the need to conform to rigid and sometimes uncomfortable social standards in order to even be allowed inside.

The demands on women in nightlife are not just visible in their clothing choices, but are woven into expectations about behavior and demeanor as well. For example, your sexuality as a woman must be clearly stated through your outfit and even your mannerisms. Women are expected to wear revealing clothing, apply makeup and style their hair in ways that signal their desirability.

These expectations are not only enforced by men but also by other women, creating a social environment where appearance becomes a ticket to acceptance. If a woman chooses not to participate in this performance — by dressing more modestly or rejecting the prescribed standards — she faces a level of judgment and exclusion that is unique to the nightlife scene. 

This pressure is a manifestation of patriarchal control, where women are only permitted to express their sexuality in ways that are sanctioned by men and society at large. The contradiction is harsh: women are encouraged — even required — to project overt sexuality in nightlife settings, but this same behavior becomes a liability in other contexts. The morning after, the same clothes and demeanor that were praised become sources of shame, and women are expected to revert to modesty and a nurturing, maternal persona. Failing to navigate this double standard can result in social isolation, as women who refuse to conform are often shamed and excluded from their peer groups.

These rules are only amplified on Halloweekend. On Halloweekend, even the women who do not wear revealing clothing on every other weekend of the year suddenly have immense pressure to emulate the most sexual versions of themselves. The dress and overall appearance are only one part of the expectations people have for women for nightlife. 

The sentiments the woman must have towards the experience and the men she will meet or is meant to meet are also an unspoken rule. According to the patriarchy, you must be willing to have meaningless conversations with men, and you must accept the idea of your friends seeking men, and you cannot be standoffish towards these ideas. If you are, you are breaking the rules in place of being a woman and at a college party over the weekend. 

As one matures, they might be able to realize if what they do is something they wish to continue. If a woman wishes to give up the nightlife scene and the game that accompanies it, they may lose some of their friends and access to the social scene.